Up in Smoke

     There are those who might argue that smoking is not good for the human body, but there are actually many benefits to be found from this soothing habit. Providing a smoking pit at Princess Margaret School allows the students to gain from these benefits.

     The gathering of the smoker's group is one of the first impressions that the general public is given of the Princess Margaret campus. This small group of students that huddles together on the fringe of the school property demonstrates to the public that there is definitely school unity and cohesiveness among its population. A very positive and lasting impression is created for the drivers that pass by, people walking and those who live within the vicinity of the school.  A good example is also being presented on a daily basis to the up and coming students from Skaha Lake Middle School. The smokers are constantly outside enjoying the fresh air and sunshine that comes with living in the beautiful Okanagan Valley. Their socializing skills are consistently being developed throughout the entire day and as an added bonus, from their vantage point, these smokers have the best position to watch and support the school tennis team.

     There are certain physical, mental and health rewards that smoking provides.  Smoking is relaxing and helps to reduce stress which means that  the smoke pit students are virtually stress free. An additional plus for smoking is that it helps to control excess body weight.  Everyone knows that being too fat and overweight is detrimental to the health so this group of smokers is really giving a boost to their physical well being. They also save money on perfume and body wash since their hair, hands and clothes have that wonderful smoke smell.

     This special group of students, with their nicotine habits and addictions, is working diligently to help society.  They contribute to the economy because of the high taxes that are charged on each and every package of cigarettes. Without the revenue from smoking, the government would be required to find more money from other sources, and as a result these smokers are protecting the non smokers from higher taxation.

     With all of the benefits that these smokers gain from their habit and the positive perks smoking brings to the rest of society, why would they ever want to quit?

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misleading
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it makes me wonder


There's a feeling I get when I look to the west
And my spirit is crying for leaving
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees
And the voices of those who stand looking
and it makes me wonder
really makes me wonder


And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forest will echo with laughter


GUITAR SOLO


If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean from the May Queen
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, Ooh, it makes me wonder


Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know
The piper's calling you to join him
Dear lady, can't you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind


GUITAR SOLO


And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all is one and one is all, yeah
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying the stairway to heaven

  One of the most well known songs of all time is Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven. As the most requested song of FM radio in the United States, Stairway to Heaven runs just over eight minutes in length. The song is comprised of several sections which increase in speed and volume along with various creative and imaginative poetic devices throughout the course of the song.


The opening line represents imagery with “all that glitters is gold” and sets a tone full of optimism and positive energy. “Building a stairway to heaven” is a hyperbole which exaggerates the possibility of achieving the impossible. The song’s lyrics and music were written in an impromptu dinner meeting between guitarist Jimmy Page and vocalist Robert Plant. There is not meant to be any deep hidden meaning behind the lyrics which leaves the song open to personal interpretation.

Nature and natural beauty is personified in the lines “when the songbird who sings,” the “forest will echo with laughter” and the “whispering wind.” An allusion of the “piper leading to reason” evokes the mental picture and reference to the Pied piper of Hamlin. Onomatopoeia is used with the line “your head is humming.”

In the last stanza, assonance sounds with the words “road, soul, know, shows and gold” finish off this imaginative and artistic set of lyrics. The song’s last line, “and she’s buying a stairway to heaven,” reiterates the message of hope and promise as the song ends it progression from a slow acoustic folk song into a high temp hard rock song. The listener is mesmerized, satiated and rewarded with explosive poetic devices, energy and adrenaline.

HOCKEY CONCERNS

     Heidi let out an exasperated sigh as she questioned her husband,  "How can you just sit there and read your stupid newspaper?"
     "Hellooooo can you hear me?" she repeated.
     "I'm tired," Gary replied defensively, "I just need to relax."
     Heidi didn't miss a beat as she continued, "You have no idea what repercussions this decision is going to have.  I've heard them talking about a criminal investigation and it's going to be your head on the chopping block!"
     Gary fell silent as Heidi sat back and glared.  "I'm not the only one you know," he protested.
     Breathlessly Heidi ranted, "Even our Prime Minister has made comments.  He thinks the NHL should do something about the violence.  That's you - THE commissioner.  Everyone is expecting you to do something."
     Gary put down his paper as he stared blankly at Heidi's furious face, "Why do you care?  You don't even like hockey."
     "I care because someone is going to get killed and I don't want that person's death hanging over us.  Did you see the picture in the paper?  It looked like he was dead!" Heidi cried.
     "You know as horrible as Pacioretty's injury was, it's just part of the physical game of hockey.  You wouldn't understand - you're a woman."
     "Maybe I've got more sense because I'm a woman.  I sure wouldn't just sit there reading my paper while a young man's life is at stake."
     Gary casually replied, "Pacioretty is out of the hospital.  He was only in for a day.  Chara has already said it wasn't intentional."
     "Of course he's going to say that.  He doesn't want to be held criminally responsible," Heidi pointed out in disgust.
     Gary shifted to look Heidi in the eye, "You know it would never get a conviction if it went to trial.  You have to prove there was intent to hurt."
     "You can't tell me that it was without thought," Heidi's voice rose to a shout, "there was already bad blood between the two players and he checked him right into the support pole.  It's got to stop some where and if the top guns turn the other way, where will it end?"
     "Are you finished?" asked Gary, "it doesn't concern you."
     Heidi's eyes and cheeks were red as she spoke with disdain, "It concerns us if someone is critically injured or hurt.  It concerns our family, our jobs, our life, not to mention the lives of the players and their families."
     Gary's silence filled the room.
     "What if you lose your job?" Heidi asked gravely.
     Gary looked for a long time at Heidi.  At last he shouted angrily, "Is that where this is leading?  You're concerned about MY job."
     Heidi didn't notice Gary's note of sarcasm as she continued to explain herself.  "Well it would affect our lifestyle if you didn't make the big bucks.   We do have our trip to Europe and my birthday coming up.  I had ordered that diamond ring - you didn't forget did you?"
     "You know, I thought you were worried about these hockey players.  My  mistake."
     "Well you certainly aren't worried either.  Look at you sitting there with your paper," pouted Heidi.
     "You know I'm just doing my job," snapped Gary, "now leave me alone."

                THE LITTLE SCHOOL THAT COULD

The sunny tourist mecca of Penticton, British Columbia, has something to brag about.  Princess Margaret Secondary, a small but distinguished high school, located at the south end of the little town did not win the Boys' AAA Basketball finals, nor did it send a team into the final championship for debating and it did not end up having the top marks for provincial scholarships.  What made this school of 750 students stand out among the rest?  Inclusion.

At a time where national headlines are bombarded with stories about physical, social, verbal and cyber bullying and even in extreme cases - suicide, there seems to be something different happening in the halls of "Maggie."  Students have a name where each individual is known by administration, staff and student body alike.  Jake*, a soft spoken grade eleven student says, "When I walk through the doors in the morning, the principal greets me by name."  Kayla* adds "that the vice principal found my student card on the floor and took the time to return it personally during Socials class.  They care about us as people."  Efforts are continually being made to personalize the high school experience.  Assemblies take place, not only as a whole school, but also for each individual grade, nine through twelve.  This way information is given in a more informal, relaxed and welcoming setting so that each student can feel as though they really matter.  Parent, staff and student committees work in unison to provide a positive and enthusiastic learning environment.  Anti bullying day, multicultural day, Western week, recycling groups, noon hour jeopardy, muscular dystrophy walk, 10,000 To-night, Dry Grad, Aboriginal celebrations.... the list goes on and on with activities that work at involving and including ALL students.

Bullying needs to be dealt with directly.  To stop hurtful behavior students, staff and parents need to respond when it occurs and take steps to prevent it.   It seems that Princess Margaret could give us all a lesson on how to work together as a unit in order to provide each young person the right to feel safe at home, at school and in the community. 
*Names have been changed

I am infallible.  I apprenticed the accomplished Sherlock Holmes and tutored Albert Einstein.  While eating a croissant I scaled the Eiffel tower in less than 2 minutes.  My invention of electricity made Thomas Edison famous.  I ended world hunger.  Rafail Nadal and Roger Federer can not return my serve.  The Mona Lisa smiles for me.  I can speak more words in a minute than the infamous Mrs. Sutherland.  On Fridays I train Navy Seals to swim, on Saturdays  monitor the security of North America for NORAD and on Sundays practice yoga .  I can bake a cheese soufflé.  

Occasionally, I ski barefoot while driving the boat.  I can wrestle Mr. Van Camp to the ground until he begs for mercy.  Looking for sunglasses in the River Channel is my weekend hobby.  I dug the Mariana Trench and utilized the dirt to construct Mount Chomolungma in the Himalayas.  I defeated a serpent-like chthonic beast called the Hydra and cut off Van Gogh's lower left earlobe.  I like to walk.   Digging the Panama Canal with a plastic shovel took me only thirty six hours.

For fun, I traverse the circumference of the globe in less than 80 days. One weekend I wrote the English dictionary and then translated it into French and German.  I don't watch TV.  I shot the arrow that punctured Achilles' tendon and I own a cat.  While still in the womb I was able to speak and I ventured behind the "staff only" sign at Wal-Mart.  My escape from Alcatraz while swimming the breaststroke was simply for fun.  I can use a stapler with one hand.  I invented Pythagoras Theorem, I invented time travel, I invented the atomic accelerator, and I invented the Arabic alphabet.  I sleep once a week and taught Mr. Gibson guitar in under an hour.  I breed prize winning bulls but I eat no meat.  I engineered the Golden Gate Bridge while traveling in Europe.  My memory is photographic.

My sincere desire is that these experiences and accomplishments will enable me to be considered for enrollment in your distinguished center of enlightenment.

Prison Break

For over two thousand, one hundred and sixty days we have been confined to this extremely harsh routine. Wake up early , restricted lunch hours, dinner, work until exhaustion sets in, bedtime and then repeat.  We are forced to sit in groups, of not more than thirty, on cold, hard, metal seats found in plain, square, bleak rooms with one window and one door. Upon a signal we march at the exact same time into the next square, meaningless room.  Strict, authoritative wardens, who are trained in various disciplines, deliver a never ending monologue which is often uninteresting and unstimulating. No running, no hats, and no chewing gum are permitted at any time in the hallways of this distressing institution. Each morning we are forced to watch broadcasts that attempt to brain wash us and control our thoughts. Permission is required to use the washroom facilities and drinking fountains at all times of the day. Any attempted contact with the outside world results in the confiscation of all cell phones which are returned only at the end of the day. Appropriate dress is required, language is carefully regulated, punctuality is a must and lateness is duly recorded. All personal belongings are stored in locked metal compartments on the wall and these small storage units must be shared between two or more people. Throughout the day we are required to listen, pay attention and refrain from friendly conversation in order not to fall behind. Sickness must be reported to the head office where consent to miss a day may or may not be given at a moment's notice.  Fees are required at the beginning of the year or else privileges will be withheld. If all goes as planned we will escape from this relentless schedule of drudgery…. Grade 12 Graduation will soon be here.