I am infallible.  I apprenticed the accomplished Sherlock Holmes and tutored Albert Einstein.  While eating a croissant I scaled the Eiffel tower in less than 2 minutes.  My invention of electricity made Thomas Edison famous.  I ended world hunger.  Rafail Nadal and Roger Federer can not return my serve.  The Mona Lisa smiles for me.  I can speak more words in a minute than the infamous Mrs. Sutherland.  On Fridays I train Navy Seals to swim, on Saturdays  monitor the security of North America for NORAD and on Sundays practice yoga .  I can bake a cheese soufflé.  

Occasionally, I ski barefoot while driving the boat.  I can wrestle Mr. Van Camp to the ground until he begs for mercy.  Looking for sunglasses in the River Channel is my weekend hobby.  I dug the Mariana Trench and utilized the dirt to construct Mount Chomolungma in the Himalayas.  I defeated a serpent-like chthonic beast called the Hydra and cut off Van Gogh's lower left earlobe.  I like to walk.   Digging the Panama Canal with a plastic shovel took me only thirty six hours.

For fun, I traverse the circumference of the globe in less than 80 days. One weekend I wrote the English dictionary and then translated it into French and German.  I don't watch TV.  I shot the arrow that punctured Achilles' tendon and I own a cat.  While still in the womb I was able to speak and I ventured behind the "staff only" sign at Wal-Mart.  My escape from Alcatraz while swimming the breaststroke was simply for fun.  I can use a stapler with one hand.  I invented Pythagoras Theorem, I invented time travel, I invented the atomic accelerator, and I invented the Arabic alphabet.  I sleep once a week and taught Mr. Gibson guitar in under an hour.  I breed prize winning bulls but I eat no meat.  I engineered the Golden Gate Bridge while traveling in Europe.  My memory is photographic.

My sincere desire is that these experiences and accomplishments will enable me to be considered for enrollment in your distinguished center of enlightenment.